This weekend was very scary for us. There were lots of questionable moments in our lives. Saturday and Sunday were days to just keep a watchful eye and try not to ask to many questions as my son was not liking being asked most anything. He mostly stayed in his room and watched TV or played video games. He came out for food. We kept checking in on him and asking if he is ok. I am sure i reminded him many times how much we loved him and that no matter what I had to do, he would be speaking to a therapist on Monday.
After a lot of calls and messages I finally found someone who answered the phone. Their first words to me after I explained the situation was that I should take him immediately to the crisis center at the hospital and have him evaluated. They could not see him till after that. They suggested I call 911 and have the police pull him from class and bring him there just incase he refused to go. How in the world could I now subject him to being picked up by the police and brought against his will to the ER. How insane did this sound? On the other hand, what if I was wrong to believe him that he actually wanted help and would not do anything to harm himself while I worked on getting a therapist.
About an hour or so after contemplating all the what if's, I got a call back from another therapist who after hearing everything said to me, "Can you bring him here at 6pm and i will talk to him? Don't worry about the insurance or money right now. Just let me talk with him and evaluate him and we will go from there."
What a relief.
So at 6 pm we went to meet with her. She shared with me the craziest law I ever heard which is that she cannot share anything with me that he does not want her too. Who do we elect to office that comes up with these stupid, insane laws? I am his father, how do I not get to find out what is going on in his life????
After the hour or so of them talking she invites me in and says that he will be ok. He has a great deal of self inflicted anxiety which has become very tough to deal with. Kids and parents put a lot of pressure on without even realizing it. We tell our kids, be a star, be an athlete, get good grades, find a boyfriend or girlfriend, and make friends. We tell them, go to the dance, go to the prom, find a date. lose weight, gain weight, do your homework, eat your meal. I am sure the pressure to go to college, get a good job, earn a good living, buy a house, raise a family can be a lot to deal with, especially when your a teenager. You get the jist of it. It is a lot and kids sometimes opt out. It is scary.
Sometimes, a parent can find a blessing in this mess and we are thankful that he was able to share with me that he needed and wanted help.
And now the healing can begin.