It has been quite some time since I wrote a blog or updated the site. I apologize to anyone who was reading this steadily. As the title says, I was lost. I actually wrote this almost 2 months ago and in the time it took to find the right photo, just like that I was lost again. My own depression crept back in and I lost focus. Life happens, but I am good and here is the updated blog, 2 months later.
For the last couple of months, maybe since my medication for depression and anxiety stopped, my brain has been on overdrive, struggling with every inner conflict anyone can imagine. It gets tough managing business, family, finances, kids, marriage, and friendships. There are days when everything is strained. I have had an extremely hard time finding the proper balance in my life which has caused a writers block for me. I have come to understand better my oldest sons depression and failed attempt at quitting life. Thank god for that. I have my own demons that I have to fight everyday, no different than the rest of the world I guess. Just for me, as they were for him, they are very real. I struggle sometimes way more than I would like just to be normal. To feel normal.
Sometimes, you can get lost in the middle of a crowd, a family function, at work, school, sitting on the couch, or anywhere for that matter. It took a bit but I think I have found my way back. Certainly I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I am grateful for the bit of support and leeway I was given by the few friends I have.
Now back to the stuff that matters.
From the summer: Aidan is diving underwater. Taught himself for the most part. Crazy to see. He is so excited to be going back to school although on back to school night he had a very tough time as the school and kids are different now. He did not handle the change well. I am hoping once school starts he adjusts better. He's still crazy about school buses and we have spent many hours just driving in the school bus parking lot while he calls off bus numbers. Sometimes we play a game where he calls off a number and I have to drive to locate the bus.
Now that we are 2 months into school he does look forward to going each day. Sometimes he will get up as early as 5 am and bring his clothes into our bedroom to get ready for the bus. He is still excited everyday about going to school. He actually gets homework to do. Simple things but still homework. Aidan's birthday was October 27, and he just turned 6. He was very excited about having a birthday and opening presents.
A quick update on his brothers. Justin is a senior, Colin a freshman and both are playing high school football. Last year Justin tore his ACL first full day of practice and was on the bench for the entire season. Colin broke both bones in his leg and was couch bound for 2 months. Then rehab for both. Colin's season also was over. This year we have watched both Justin and Colin play high school football. Both are doing well. Aidan still talks about playing football like his brothers. I hope one day I get to see that happen. I know miracles happen everyday. More updates to come.